Fortress of Perpetual Midnight

Of course, it does make it easier for me to address her. . . .

Anyway, I've been watching Ms. Parker carefully because of her habit of stroking female guests. (I thought she may have described the other leading lady as "sexy" in the first-season finale, but I couldn't quite make it out.) But it turns out it may just be because she, too, is suspected of being somewhere on the autism spectrum and has trouble knowing how to interact with people (although she tries very differently from how I do).

In general, one expects that through continuing exposure to some element, one would become accustomed or desensitized to it. So it's somewhat disturbing that the more I interact with human beings, the more I learn to hate and fear them. (I'll hopefully elaborate on that later.) This is making life difficult enough that, time and again, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to give up.

One interesting thing that I've noticed is that I don't remember ever having seen Japanese people do this. It may be because of how little experience therein, but statistically speaking, I should have found at least one flame in the fora, blogs, wiki talk pages, and personal messages by now if it's anywhere near as bad as people conversing in English—and that's the sort of thing that I remember. It almost seems like it's true that Japanese people are ridiculously polite to strangers. Of course, it may simply be that my unfamiliarity with the language makes it more difficult for me to read how they mean things, but that still means it's less hurtful to me and may help me build up a bit of confidence (and practice my language skills and build contacts*). The one obvious way to do this is Yuri na Hibi's place for sharing information. I have a few older comics that I didn't find introduced there, so I'm thinking of asking if there's interest in me posting about them.

First, of course, I really should type the second installment of that stuff I promised Ms. darkenez0_o I'd post. This has been hugely delayed due to the fact that I find it difficult to schedule a couple of hours to work on a single blog post these days. The agreement didn't state the extent of what I'd type, but I'm planning to try to catch up with the current issue and call it quits, as from that point on, it'd be easy enough for anyone who can play the subject to buy them and read them herself.

*My therapist even suggested that I talk about getting people to draw my shorts. for me, but I'm a long way away from having anyone that friendly yet.

Here's a meme with no instructions. I've just put down what comes to mind and ignored the rest.

1. Where is your cell? Breast pocket
2. Your significant other? Inconceivable!
3. Your hair? Sloppy
4. Your skin? Mottled
5. Your mother? Unlucky
6. Your favorite thing? Hate
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? Strawberry shake, sweet
9. Your dream/goal? Become being
10. The room you're in? Study
11. Your ex? N/A
12. Your fear? Which?
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alone
14. Where were you last night? Work
15. What you're not? Honorable
16. Muffins? Depends
17. One of your wish list items? Locked
18. Where you grew up? Here
19. The last thing you did? Surf
20. What are you wearing? The usual
21. Your TV? N/A
22. Your pets? N/A
23. Your computer? Wrongfully mine
24. Your life? Pathetic
25. Your mood? Bored
26. Missing someone? N/A
27. Your car? Hated
28. Something you're not wearing? Necktie
29. Favorite Store? Undecided
30. Your summer? Indiana
31. Like someone? God†
32. Your favorite color? Black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Forgotten
34. Last time you cried? Work
35. Who will respond to this? Probably no one
36. Whose answers are you anxious to see? Ms. mizuno_youko‡

†This one will be easily misconstrued by those who don't know me. Remember my name.
‡Just because she's the only one here with whom I have anything in common

The other night, I noticed that I had a tennen tate-roll (just one, on the right). This reminded me, I don't know where the stereotype that such a 'do is sported by rich ladies (as exemplified by the source for the subject line, which applies just as well to me as to Ms. Azumano; also includes three-point ellipses, which are somewhat half-assed according to the Yuri Dōjō in a recent issue) originated. The only support that comes to mind is Ms. Daitokuji from PROJECT "A" KO, which was itself a parody (in her case, of a character from the original Macross, if memory serves; I never saw it anyway).

Closer to my heart is the much more commonly obvious trope of the character with a lot of melanin in the skin but not in the hair. (I call it a trope because it doesn't seem to appear in real life, except where darker hair has gone gray/white or has been artificially changed. I've never encountered any accounts of such localized albinism. It's probably also popular because of the abstraction needed to differentiate characters when all but one human race in the real world seem to have the-same-colored hair, a point that the Japanese unsurprisingly have a tradition of stylistically avoiding. Incidentally, I also have found myself unable to find reference information about races' physical characteristics on Wikipedia, which makes it difficult for me to check the authenticity of my work. On example that I don't plan to use but that has bothered me for a while: I don't recall having ever seen a man of American descent with facial hair. Is this genetic or cultural?) As far back in time as I've traced it (through idle thought, not actual research, as I don't know any good places to look for such information on Japanese media), there are two main possibilities:

1. Ms. "Storm" Munroe of Ame-comi fame. As Watsuki's liner notes often illustrate, these are well known in Japan (although not enough that she influenced him to use a similar character design in Ruro-Ken, even though, despite the fact that all but five of the characters in the 28 books are native Japanese, he goes quite far in variety, including at least a 1,000% range in height of grown men; maybe he was just too lazy to cut all that tone). Unless we can find someone way back there who was so direct about his influences, it would be pretty impossible to pin this one down.

2. The Dark Elves from Lodoss-tō Senki (an island whose name, despite the official Romanization, is spelled exactly the same as "Rhodes"). In case you were living under a rock in the '80s as I was, this series was a thinly veiled retelling of a Basic D&D campaign, as illustrated by the fact that the starting lineup consisted of six of the seven classes from the original "blue box" (excluding only the one that was stolen entirely from Tolkien's creation). Even back in those days, there was already the policy that the dark-skinned subraces of the good peoples are the evil ones, but D&D avoided some flak by saying the drow were actually black-skinned, not a human skin tone. Whether it's because they hadn't made that point yet or because of creative differences, that safety was not present in Lodoss, so (other than the being evil part) it translates just fine to humans in versions of the real world. This one could be easily confirmed or denied by asking someone who's actually watched the major Japanese animation and read Japanese comics from before that whether or not there were any examples then, but I don't think I know any such person.

By the way, in one of the extra stories from Sapphism, Ms. Lee (Ley?) tries to talk Ms. Yang down by telling her that her loss would devastate all the dark-skin fetishists. Of the examples given, I recognized only Akamatsu (no doubt due to my lack of attention to mainstream stuff), but all were called "-Sensei," so I imagine the other two are of the same ilk. But from what I've read of Akamatsu's, he's less so than I am: no major character in his first work, one who starts ranking at fifth-most-important then is displaced further by new ones in his second. As if it's not maniac enough already, my taste is mostly restricted to the illustrated versions, as in real life I'm more narcissistic, preferring my own two races (now that I've been out of high school long enough to break down my prejudice against non-white blood). I feel as if I don't much like real-world African features, which is a hell of a generalization considering that they're thought to be the oldest and thus now most diverse human race. (The aforementioned Ms. Munroe looks good, particularly with the 'do in the third movie.) I don't seem to have any such preconception about ladies of South Asian or American descent, probably because I don't see as much of them in American TV and movies.

In terms of more general tropes, is there some name for the one where the hero thinks up a clever plan but keeps it a secret from his friends in order to maintain audience suspense? I'd look around on the eponymous wiki, but from what I've seen it just seems to be a bunch of people typing whatever they feel like typing, so I'm not bothering to learn how to find things there.

Just for the hell of it, I feel like typing a bit about the ideas behind my PN.

מיכאל: This one comes, of course, from the name of the angel (one of only two named in the Old and New Testaments). He's often considered to be one of the big shots (as the meaning, "who is like god(?)," suggests), although his common title of "archangel" is second from the bottom in the nine-order hierarchy that's so popular (and used in Ten-Kin, significantly). I also like his common designation as commander of the celestial host, as well as how Ten-Kin and Shiharu Genesis portray her/him as a berserker type, which fits well with me. The spelling is to make it less generic and to differentiate between the common Anglicization that turns it to two syllables, thus blobbing together the two Hebrew words, and the (I believe) more accurate pronunciation. (Interestingly enough, in Japanese, they approximate each pronunciation separately （「マイケル」・「ミカエル」), despite spelling them both with the "ch" in English as everyone else does.)

One of these days I'll actually get around to memorizing how to write it, so I can actually sign things (in theory).

偉闇: In addition to legal names, it appears that Mother's family marks its children with Cantonese given names. This is mine, altered slightly for symbolic purposes. Any of you who know me can probably guess how (even if you don't know Chinese characters, since you can just look them up on Wiktionary). This is another way of making my name not just the same-old same-old, as the other two parts are so generic.

王: Chinese surnames are nothing if not straightforward. Again, you can see the meaning for yourselves. It's also really easy to write.

It is rather odd to have a name that is read partially right-to-left and partially left-to-right, but that doesn't really bother me.

As I've noted before, I always try to make sure to reply to comments on my LJ, and I always try to comment on my friends' LJs unless it's something that isn't relevant to me, because I feel it's important to try to keep up communication with those few with whom I can. (I make exceptions for those I don't really know, primarily Mses. mizuno_youko and oneirotsai, because I prefer not to intrude on their domains and because I don't want to expose myself to yet more griefing from readers in other circles.) Sadly, in one of the few posts where I got a follow-up comment, it was just a (probably inadvertent) insult for the fact that I didn't watch Hitch just because it was mildly chauvinistic.

Although he could have worded his response less contemptuously, phoenix_talon makes a good point. I've certainly watched much worse material, even recently, since I've developed my own tastes. However, these days, it's only if there's something worth watching. As far as I see, Hitch is just a situational comedy and a "man gets girl" (as always, intentionally sexist wording) story. There's not really anything wrong with that, but nor is there anything good about either. Thus, I had no reason to watch it.

My readership appears to be at an all-time high (apparently at least two regulars!), but I've accumulated quite a lot of stuff during its absence, to say nothing of my sloth and the fact that I've built up a lot of new things due to year's-end-and-beginning splurging. So, I'd like to see if you have any requests or suggestions. What I've got in the works is as follows:

( Ridiculously long notes )

1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Nameless Accord

2. Your gangsta name (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Cheesecake Office

3. Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Black Human

4. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): Wai-Am Redwood

5. Your Star Wars name† (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name): Wonmi

6. Superhero name (second favorite color, favorite drink): Green Mountain Dew

7. NASCAR name (first names of your grandfathers): Rodney Dean

8. Stripper name (favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Skunk‡ Chocolate Bar

10. TV weather anchor name (5th-grade teacher’s last name, major city that starts with the same letter): Delaplane Denver

11. Spy name (favorite season/holiday, favorite flower): Winter Lily

12. Cartoon name (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Banana Pants

13. Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, favorite tree): Nothing Pine

†No idea where they got this one. Lucge? Forha? Fisca? Jonja?

‡I don't really have a favorite smell, but I like skunk scent a lot more than most people. I was going to just randomly put "baby powder," but I don't think I'd even know that smell if it hit me in the face.

[Edit: Hmm, no 9]

( Warning: frank discussion of male anatomy )

Alphabetized to avoid having to rate them even more precisely

4 Movies You Can Always Watch:
1. STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE
2. STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE
3. STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
4. STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI
I rarely rewatch movies (even the ones I watch in the first place) anymore. There's just too much else to see. However, I've listed a few classics that I wouldn't mind watching again, since I'm interested in the setting. I guess I picked EPISODE I as my fourth because it has Ms. Portman in it, and she's not making out with Hayden Christensen. Capt. Tarpals is cool too, for all the five minutes of screen time he gets. UTENA is probably complicated enough to be worth watching again, as well.

4 Bands/Singers You Can't Get Enough of:
None. Even if you take it figuratively, there aren't any of either about which I care. My favorite composer is Uematsu Nobuo, but I don't care much about him, either.

4 Books You Can Read Over and Over:
1. CODEX: DAEMONHUNTERS
2. CODEX: WITCH HUNTERS
3. INQUISITOR ANNUAL 2004: vol. 2 The EXTERMINATUS Files
4. INQUISITOR: THE BATTLE FOR THE EMPEROR'S SOUL
As you may remember, I no longer have the patience to read large blocks of prose, and I get tired of reading the same story comics repeatedly. (Even most volumes of HAYATE CROSS BLADE and Yuri Shimai I've only read about a half-dozen times.) Most of the stuff I reread is reference material, for which I don't have many big ones at the moment, now that I'm not bothering with D&D anymore.

4 Towns You've Lived In:
1. Northfield, MN
2. Norwich, Norfolk
3. Redwood City, CA
4. West Lafayette, IN
I'm counting everywhere I've stayed on a regular basis (including sabbatical and school, but not other trips).

4 Shows You're Watching:
1. BLUE DROP: Tenshi-tachi no Gikyoku
2. JEOPARDY!
3. Minami-ke
4. MYTHBUSTERS
I'm far too lazy to catch TV shows consistently, and I don't give a damn about enough shows to bother getting TiVo. I've got a couple of new ones due to this meme's occurrence at the beginning of a season.

4 Shows You Like to Watch (not necessarily current):
1. CA$H CAB
2. THE COLBERT REPORT
3. THE DAILYSHOW WITH JON STEWART
4. MAIL CALL
Since this is in the present tense, I'm listing ones that I would continue to watch, not ones that I've already seen in full and thus probably will never watch again. I've also omitted the ones from the previous item, since you already know those. The two fake news shows are about the only way I'm willing to spend time actually using my eyes to find out about news. Too bad I'm too lazy to watch them when my brother isn't here. UTENA might fit into this category, too (and I still haven't seen a couple of the filler episodes).

4 Websites You Visit Daily:
1. Allies
2. The Animal Rescue Site, etc.
3. Ecology Fund
4. PRIVATEER PRESS
Yes, I still click on all these donations for causes about which I don't give a damn, as long as they're free. The other two I only visit regularly because they don't have RSS feeds.

4 Favorite Foods:
1. Cheesecake (on principle)
2. Hawaiian bread
3. Milk chocolate
4. Rainbow sherbet
I don't have much interest in food now that I'm restricting myself so much, so these are pretty arbitrary choices. There are plenty of foods that I would enjoy eating more, but I don't count them because I don't eat them.

4 Places You'd Like to Be Now:
1. Darfur, the Sudan
2. Madison, WI
3. Nottingham, Notts
4. Tucson, AZ
I really hate Japan. Even back when I was willing to kill and eat innocents for my own enjoyment, I still had to put up with people smoking everywhere and having to be polite to men. I may post about the Darfur part later. (This seems an odd way to release that information, but whatever.)

Very generic. There's no mention of games played, or miniatures converted, or anything interesting like that.

It occurred to me the other day that there exists a feminist who calls me a friend. That's rather disturbing once you think about it.

Come to think of it, the scene I posted here reminds me of the one time that I actively attempted to kill a human being (although, naturally, it wasn't a lady).

Edit: Incidentally, that was much more recent than the last time I deliberately tried to kill an innocent. As noted before (although I can't seem to find where), it's been more than five years.

Well, last night's session didn't go too badly: Despite the numerous D&D players who insist they have to whine about all the things they hate about D&D throughout the game, I was at least able to enjoy the game itself to some degree. I also didn't have enough time afterward to go anywhere in-between that and work, so I sat around and watched a game of 40K for a bit for the first time in a while. I must admit that I don't much care about actually playing wargames (with the exception of Inquisitor), but I was surprised by the fact that all four players actually seemed like they wanted to enjoy the game instead of griping about the rules and background, despite the fact that the former are significantly less clean than D&D's.

Anyway, I still had to go to work. Between the fact that my supervisor wasn't there, so I had to deal with conflicting orders from various people, and the one that one of my duties actually required something resembling work this time, I was reminded of just what scum I really am. I though of a lot to write to help work this out, but of course, I couldn't just go back to Mother's house and do that, so I kept working and thinking about it. After my break, I got back to reminding myself about how much I despise others, which helped quite a bit. A consequence of that, of course, is that I don't feel bothered to type up my thoughts, so I'll just ignore them for the moment.